Welcome to SETHIGHERSTANDARDS.COM. I am Ravi Raman and am here to share tips on how to live a healthier and more joyful life!
Listening to “How to Win Friends and Influence People ” by Dale Carnegie again. Here are some stream of conscious nuggets I’m picking up while listening. Read Part I for more nuggets.
- The best way to win an argument, is to avoid it.
- Quit telling people they are wrong, after all, how do you really know? You might be the one who is wrong. In other words, get used to admitting that you, in fact, might be wrong. It’s a disarming approach when dealing with people and shows respect for others opinions. Admitting you might be wrong will never get you into trouble.
- The word “My” has incredible force and impact. Use it carefully.
- Agree with your adversary quickly! Don’t argue with a customer, spouse or enemy. Use diplomacy.
- Never say to someone else “you’re wrong”.
- If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically!
- A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of “gaul”.
- The more yes’s you can induce from others early in a conversation – the positive momentum you can achieve toward a desired outcome. Saying yes is a powerful thing.
- Let others do a great deal of talking. Don’t interrupt others. Listen patiently and sincerely.
- Encourage others to express their ideas fully.
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Listening to “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie (again). There are thousands of books on self-help and business leadership out there but this is definitely the one that matters. I like listening to the audio book version. It forces me to take in every word whereas in print form I end up reading quickly ahead.
A few insights from listening so far:
- The ability to properly deal with people is by far the biggest factor in becoming a successful leader.
- People respond more favorably to praise then criticism.
- It is far easier to make friends by being genuinely interested in others, than it is to try to get others to be genuinely interested in you.
- To get someone to pay attention to you, focus on what they care about NOT what you care about. Start from that perspective and they will be motivated to hear what you have to say.
- Fake it ’till you make it. If you smile even when you aren’t happy, you will begin to feel cheerful.
- There is only one sure way to find happiness, and that is through controlling your thoughts. It is not what you are doing that makes you happy, it is all about your mental attitude.
- Do not fear being misunderstood and do not fear your enemies – keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do.
- All things come through desire, we become the things in which our hearts are fixed.
- Names are important, if you are genuinely interested in people – you’ll have an easier time remembering. People are more interested in their own name than in all the other names put together.
If you haven’t read or listened to it yet – do it!
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Heading home from the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. Plenty of cool stuff to see, some useful (some great mini-laptop devices and eReaders) and plenty of nonsense (the hype over 3D tv was ridiculous, it has a long way to go before it hits primetime).
The biggest value in these shows is not in the products, it’s the chance to talk with lots of folks in the industry. Most of the big exhibitors have set armies of product managers to staff their booths. After a few dozen conversations with different companies you get a good perspective on the market.
After walking miles through the convention center every day I’m ready to be heading home. Can really go for a good yoga class right now.
Samsung’s over the top booth with a ginormorous cathedral like sculpture plastered with TVs (this pic is about 1/4 th of the whole thing)
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As you start setting your intentions and aspirations for the new year, don’t fret if you can’t pinpoint the exact things that you want to do, places you want to visit, people you want to meet or other experiences you want to have. Try as best you can to make your intention something that is empowering and motivating for you, and back it up with a few specific actions you can take to realize that intention in the world (e.g. goals).
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Then recognize that there are a lot of things going on out there in the world, and you might not be able to pinpoint the exact experiences you want to have and goals you want to achieve in the coming year…yet.
For me, I create a list of intentions for every new year, and a few goals that substantiate each one. For example, one intention I have this year is to Embody My True Personal Power and Vitality, and one goal in line with this is to compete in a off-road trail running race this year (distance isn’t important). That said, I don’t at this point have all my specific goals nailed down, and that is ok. I know that as the days move on I’ll have a clearer idea of the specific goals I want….goals that are lined up with my intentions for the year.
However, this year I am also going to try something new….I am going to spend a little (not a ton, but some) time doing is identifying a list of things I don’t want to experience this year! I am motivated to do this after reading this little quote by Steve Jobs:
Steve Jobs
“I’m as proud of what we don’t do as I am of what we do.”
It got me thinking. I think many people, especially those who are motivated to grow personally and professionally, often get oversubscribed with doing things…and this makes it tough to 1) really focus on the things that matter and 2) take advantage of ad-hoc fun experiences that pop up from time to time.
For example, just a few days ago, a friend asked me if I wanted to go to go snowshoeing for a few days….staying in a “Yurt” near Mt. Rainier. Apparently, someone in the group fell sick and a spot opened up. With 24 hours notice, I was able to take advantage of this since I hadn’t booked my weekend full of random stuff to do. It ended up being one of the most fun experiences I’ve had in a long time.
So after you’ve spent time setting your intentions and creating your vision board, think about a few things you are willing to cut-back on or totally cut-out. Do so and you might just end up creating the free time and space to really achieve those lofty goals, and have a ton of fun in the process.
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