On May 3rd I put myself up to a little challenge. Forget about my TV. My beautiful TV…..a 42-inch Pioneer Plasma.

I covered it up with a shawl and decided I wouldn’t turn it on for 30 days.

On June 13th, it struck me that I hadn’t even thought about turning the thing one….and that my 30 days had long since past.

Shortly after moving to a new home a few later, it still sat unused in the middle of my living room floor. It was time to give it the boot.

I have nothing against TV as a technology. I think there are a lot of great things you can watch on TV. Unforuntately, I also have a ton of great things I can do, learn and experience in the real world.

I still might watch a few programs on iTunes or rent a DVD (though I haven’t done so in months). I’ll rely on my laptop for those things.

I really haven’t missed my TV. At first the urge to pop in a DVD was there, but after  a week I totally forgot about it.

I put it on Craigslist and a few days later, someone paid cash for it.

During my TV-free weeks, I’ve spent more time reading, cleaning up (and downsizing my condo), taking care of lose ends around the house and more importantly…..sleeping more.

I think like anything we think we really need….if you distance yourself from the object (both in practice and state of mind)…its hold on you weakens and eventually disolves completely.

It’s rarely the smartest person that gets the highest grades, the most physically gifted that wins the race or the  most capable person that gets a promotion.

What you have done has little impact on your outcome unless you are able to manage your state effectively.

By “state” I am referring to your ability to control your emotions, physiology, language and focus in positive manner. The most highly training swimmer, without proper emotional control, could false-start or go out too fast, and lose a race.

The most capable employee could get locked into a “why me” attitude where they blame others for their lack of progress, instead of focusing on their strengths and delivering great work…thereby damaging their reputation and losing any chance for promotion.

The most gifted student could get super nervous before the SAT’s and not come away with a great score.

In many cases, once you have a minimum level of competence in a subject, it is your state, that is…your ability to control your inner environment, that is the true determination of success.

I just watched the old Biography episode on Tony Robbins. It’s available on YouTube in five parts. The whole thing is a joke.

First of all, it is really old and generally focuses on the outward techniques Tony uses without delving into their meaning. It’s definitely made out to make him look like a super salesman out to get rich. Even though they have a few positive statements from Stallone and mention of his foundation, they portray what he does as equal parts cult and pep rally. They totally miss the boat.

Based on my own experience with Tony’s teaching; having seen him in person several times, having attended his Mastery University program now as director of the Seattle PowerGroup (through which I’ve met many others who have gone through his programs)….I find the story told in this program to be misleading.

First of all, the energy and movement used in his programs are done with a purpose. Physiology is an incredible tool we can all use to change out state. That’s why we feel good when we cheer, dance, breath deeply, exercise, etc. Put your body in a state of being where you would be if you were happy and feeling good….and pretty soon you will be happy and feeling good. A key part of what Tony teaches is using physiology as one gateway to make personal change. Along with physiology, your language and mental focus also matter. It’s proper application of this “triad” that becomes a fundamental technology for personal growth. You practice this during his programs so you can develop this skill and apply it throughout your everyday life without trouble.

Second, the firewalk is an incredibly powerful anchor. Think of it as a reference point you can refer back to (consciously or unconsciously) as a proof point that you can excel and achieve even in the most challenging of circumstances. I did this several years ago and will never forget the experience.

Lastly, the Tony Robbins of today is very different from the Tony Robbins of the 90’s. As I’ve heard from some long time students who attended his earliest programs, he’s “toned down” a bit and incorporated more relationship and health/wellness teaching into his programs. One thing about Tony is that he never stops learning. Every year his programs change and adapt as he discovers more effective techniques. He adds new guest speakers and topics to his talks all the time.

In fact, when I attended Date with Destiny in 2006, he actually conducted a guided meditation and chakra cleansing. This is the sort of thing that Tony would never have done a decade ago.

I think people who watch an old infomercial or developed some opinion about him through his book or an old seminar experience ought to give it another shot. His teaching today has evolved a lot over years.

A few months ago, I walked into a tea house in Ballard (near Seattle, WA) and was struck by how positive the barista was. I walked up to the counter and said “Hey, how’s it going?” A standard greeting I used to use dozens of times a day. Hardly ever do I expect any reply, or at most perhaps a “good” or “ok.”

This kid let raised both hands in the air and belted out “Living the dream my brother.” He was beaming with the biggest smile I had seen in a long while.

Turns out this guy had just returned from  a year-long around the world backpacking adventure. Spending significant amounts of time in India and Southeast Asia. This tea house job was just to hold him over until saved enough to go back on the road.

What struck me most about this guy was his super-positive and upbeat attitude. Instead of dreading the thought of coming into work after such a long “extended” adventure around the world, he was taking it in stride.

This short interchange left a big impression on my. So much so, that for the past few months, I’ve committed to never saying “good,” “ok,” or anything remotely negative when people ask me “how’s it going.”

After all, if I can’t at least muster up enough energy to come up with some reason why I am happy about the moment, I’ve got bigger problems to deal with!  So I got in the habit of thinking about all the reasons why things are absolutely 100% awesome in my life on a daily basis…..no matter what..and when people ask me how it’s going….it’s completely natural when I say “I’m super fantastic,” or “having an outstanding day,” or “it’s the best day ever.”

Language has a huge impact on your outlook on life. Despite the hundreds of thousands of words in the English language, we resign to using small fraction. It pays to investigate language that is positive and upbeat, and incorporate it in your life.

With this in mind, and my consistent use of positive language to answer everyday “how do you do” type questions, I’m re-enforcing to myself just how good things are…and even if I am not feeling 100% for some reason, I find that just responding to the question in a positive manner will lift me up.

What’s also interesting is how people react to my responses, especially at work. People aren’t used to someone saying “things are super-awesome, couldn’t be better….but who knows tomorrow might be!” Some people just stare at me and ask more questions….as if they think I am joking! Others seems to get into a more positive state when they hear me.

Either way, it’s a positive outcome. Positive for me since I am consistently reinforcing a positive outlook on my life and how things are going in the moment…and positive for the person asking me the question….since it causes them to think about what is going on in their life that is great too.

Try it out for a week and see how it works for you.

Giving does bring joy. Giving can also bring some pain. As I’ve been giving some things away, I’ve become aware of emotions that crop up in the process of purging my life of things that are not supporting me. Right now, I’m focused on giving up some material things. You can read about my venture into The Simple Life here and and update here.

Just today, I gave away a few more things. I hadn’t touched these things in ages, little ornamental items hanging around my home, and was fully prepared to give them to someone who would put them to good use. As several friends were leaving my home this afternoon, I asked if any of them wanted these items.

At first, one said no, then another said sure. At that moment, I felt some remorse. I immediately conjured up some potential use for this previously useless object. This particular one was a decorative metal bowl (looked like an ornate pot) with rivets all over it. It was the sort of thing you could use to put umbrellas in, or as a glorified waste bin. In that moment, where I was giving it up, I realized that I could use it to put a large potted plant in it!

I didn’t own a potted plant that size, but it was a possibility. I immediately felt a bit of regret for giving the thing away. It’s a silly example, but something I have experienced several times over the past weeks as I have been simplifying my life. Giving brings joy, but you might have to go through a bit of pain to get there.

Now, sitting here typing this post about 1 hour after giving that metal thingamabob away, I feel absolutely no regret about doing that. I’m glad I did. It’s the same thing I felt giving away all those books, shirts and other items that were crowding space in my head and in my brain.

btw….I am doing a little experiment. As of May 3rd, I haven’t turned on my TV once. I never had cable or even any TV stations before, but I did watch plenty of DVDs and downloaded content on iTunes. My rule is simply not to turn on my TV. I might watch YouTube on my computer or something, but the TV is shut down for the entire month! Feels very refreshing. In fact, I’ve draped a big cloth over it so it is literally out of sight and practically out of mind.

As I wrote in my last post, The Simple Life is going very well. The original enjoyment I got from giving things away to those in need has not drifted away. I still feel the same joy. The momentum is only building.

Let me be clear, this is real joy, not pleasure. There is a difference. Joy is something lasting. It is innate and not based on contrast between you and anyone else, any thing or any situation. That would be pleasure. Joy is happiness and doesn’t cost a darn thing. There is no withdrawal symptoms. It’s the best drug money can’t buy. Anyway….let me get back to the points of this post….

I’ve now gotten rid of 80% of the “loose” things that I am willing to give away. This includes clothes I don’t use, books I don’t read, kitchen stuff I never touch and non-perishable food stuff (unopened) I haven’t looked at in a while. Boxes full of random doo-dads that been dropped off at Goodwill. I’ve got two paper bags full of Tupperware to give to my sister.

For the past month I’ve also not touched my credit card once (I used to have several, canceled them all but one for emergency use). I have a debit card and use that for all my purchases. In fact, since I don’t need to carry around all those cards, I’ve ditched my wallet and started using a very simple money clip.

Life is good.

The act of getting rid of “things” is not the true object of what I am doing. It is all about changing my relationship to things. I appreciate things I get much more. I also am not as attached to them.

This Simple Life mentality has also helped me keep a keen eye out for opportunities to give. I’d rather give things I don’t need directly to someone who would benefit from them. Books that I can give to someone. Clothes that could better serve someone else. It’s about giving not accumulating. Getting rid of things creates space in your life for other great stuff to flow in.

Life is great.

The Simple Life is also not about getting rid of everything to feel significant. It is not about being ultra-contemporary-minimalist just to be unique. It is about redefining what you are about. That is, not identifying your own self-image based on your things.

Once you stop hiding behind all the things you think you need, you are are able to look at yourself with greater objectivity. It’s in this observation that real change can take place.

Life is awesome.

My friend visited from Portland, OR a few weeks and inspired me to take a massive step toward living a much simpler lifestyle. He has spend the past year or so as a “vagabonding,” most recently returning from a 4 month visit to Fiji, where he lived on about $10/day….and felt that he was living a fantastic life. Surfing, eating awesome fresh vegan food, and meeting great people every day.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no intention to retreat from the world or make such a radical shift to my lifestyle, but I have been adopting some of the concepts he has been using to simplify his life over the past few years.

It all started when he walked into my apartment, and threw down a modestly filled backpack on the floor. He strolled about my place and made an observation that I have a lot of “stuff.” That was the first time someone has really said that about me. Most people have the opposite reaction! My apartment is very new, and pretty sparse by most standards.

He then pointed out that his entire worldly possessions fit in the that single bag that was laying on the floor. It made me think about all the things that I had, and whether I really needed all of them. Over the past two weeks, I’ve found an incredible amount of enthusiasm, energy and happiness around the process of getting rid of things I no longer need to have in my possession.

After getting rid of this baggage, I feel an incredible “lightness” and much less encumbered. Just walking into my home feels much better. Things are better organized (since there is less stuff to clutter up) so I can find what I need and not bear the psychological burden of looking at a bunch of stuff sitting around.

So what have I down-sized in the past few weeks? Here’s a run-down:

• My ward-drobe has been cut in half. I have dropped off at least 6 large garbage bags of clothing to Goodwill. This was tough to do, since many of the clothes were in great shape and fit me, but most of it has not been worn in over a year (and probably won’t be worn anytime soon). My closet now has plenty of empty space on the hangar rack, and my shelves have just a few stacks of clothes.

• My library has ben cut in half. I love my books, but I had far too many. My bookshelf was tilting to one side from the weight, and they were stacked in piles on the floor and in laundry baskets next to my bed. Many of the books would never be ready (by me) again. They needed a better home, so I’ve given them away to friends or Goodwill. The books I keep are the ones that really matter a lot to me, or ones that I plan on giving away to friends as gifts over the next year.

• My Visa credit card has been canceled. I already have a Visa Debit Card and have decided to use that for all my “card” purchases. I have an Amex card that I will not use, but keep active in case of emergencies.

• My extra checking/savings accounts have been closed. I consolidated all my finances with a single company that is currently my brokerage firm. They have a checking feature to their brokerage, so I closed my separate checking and savings accounts. This way I only need to go to one account to manage my checking/cash balances.

• My extra brokerage account has been closed. I had an additional brokerage account that I used for Roth IRA and special investment vehicles that I have been using for the past few years. These investments have done well (better than S&P consistently), but were a headache to manage (I’ll go into the details of this in another post….maybe). The funds from this account will be consolidated into my single active brokerage account.

• My XBOX and 30 games that I haven’t played in years have been given to Goodwill.

• A box of triathlon and tri-related gear has been given to a friend who is actually racing….since I am not :)

• A whole bunch (3 large boxes worth) or miscellaneous goos have been given to goodwill.

• Two paper bags worth of non-perishable foods have been given away (non-vegan stuff I won’t eat).

• My iMac now has a new home! I have a MacBook laptop, and decided that I no longer needed two computers at home, so I posted the iMac on Craigs List. 12 hours later, someone stopped by my place and paid cash for it.

So there you have it. Hopefully this post has inspired you to think about where you can down-size. As for me, I am far from done with my own efforts, looking forward to giving away some more clothes, books and some nonsense furniture I have sitting around this week!

Had a good conversation with my management team about our team’s focus and balance of time on things that are important (but not super urgent) vs those things that are important and urgent. Turns out we are spending a lot of time on the later.

The problem with focusing too much time on important and urgent priorities, is that you never really have a chance to think about long-term vision, direction and possibilities. If it is urgent, you’re probably looking for a good-enough answer in a short period of time. It’s hard to make a big breakthrough when you are so hyper-focused in this way.

I’ve made the same mistake in setting priorities in my personal life. Putting things off to free up time for the urgent things. I’ve stopped doing that and have felt a much greater sense of control and achievement. For example, I had to make it to my 5:30pm yoga class today. At 5pm on the nose, after over an hour of discussion, the meeting I was in was running long. Normally, I would just skip the yoga class and stay in the meeting.

Not this time….I just got up and left. The discussion wasn’t super urgent or even important. Yoga wasn’t urgent either, but it was definitely important. My absence was noticed from the meeting, but hey, I if you don’t draw the line somewhere it will draw itself for you!

The more exposed I get to Tony’s teaching, the more I like it.

I really appreciate the fact that he never stops learning, growing and expanding his perspective. While many of his detractors claim that he too often “changes his tune,” I see this as his greatest strength.

He is not afraid to change his approach as he learns more effective ways doing things. I know 20 years ago, he never would have been into meditation or chanting, but times change….and here he is supporting the release of a new collection of spiritual songs!

When I attended Date With Destiny, we did an incredibly profound guided meditation. This was very different from what most people expected (Tony has been known to stay away from things like meditation in the past, favoring other methods to create lasting change)….but the results were there and that was what mattered.

Below is a little blurb from Tony’s newsletter…I have seen Deva Premal and Miten in concert, and they are truly wonderful singer/songwriters. This will be a great CD.
—-

Tony’s New CD in Stores March 11

Sacred Blessings, a new collection of spiritual songs personally selected by Tony and Sage Robbins, will be released March 11, it was announced by Kosmic Music. This music, inspired by the great faiths and traditions from around the world, has been chosen to create a sense of peace and harmony within you and around you.

Featuring best-selling mantra singer Deva Premal and well-known songwriters Miten and Craig Pruess, the CD features songs such as “I Love You Lord,” “Devi Prayer,” “So Much Magnificence,” “Gayatri Mantra,” “Moola Mantra” and much more.
—–

I’ve blogged ad nauseam about how the WHY is so much more important than the HOW. In other words, it is the meaning behind what you are doing that is far more important how you carry out the activity. In fact, you could even extend this axiom to imply that the WHY is not only more important than the HOW, but it is more important than WHAT you do as well!

I recently was given a copy of Never Eat Alone, a book on networking by Keith Ferrazzi. I had low expectations for the book, having been through numerous middling works that teach me less than I already know. I’ve been been very pleasantly surprised by Keith’s book. It is full of practical advice and some interesting theories based on his own experience as a young rising star in corporate marketing and consulting fields.

Anyway, Keith has a newsletter service that sends tips based on topics from his book. Today’s tip was very intriguing…referencing a story from Jon Gordon’s book, The Energy Bus;

“There’s a story about when President Lyndon Johnson visited NASA and as he was walking the halls he came across a janitor who was cleaning up a storm, like the Energizer bunny with a mop in his hand. The president walked over to the janitor and told him he was the best janitor he had ever seen and the janitor replied, ‘Sir, I’m not just a janitor. I helped put a man on the moon.’…Even though he was cleaning floors he had a bigger purpose and vision for his life. That is what kept him going and helped him excel in his job…So drive with purpose today and every day and cultivate it in your team and they’ll not only stay on the bus when it’s cruising but they’ll also get out to help push it when it breaks down.”

Wow! This just about floored me. A janitor putting a man on the moon. Puts work in a whole different light doesn’t it? Today, I wasn’t just working on a PowerPoint presentation, I was helping to move Microsoft one step closer to putting opportunity in the hands of every child in the world, through ubiquitous, powerful and affordable computing. Might sound corny, but when you think about it, it is TRUE….and it is VERY MOTIVATING.

What were you helping to accomplish today?

Source: evanleavitt

If there is one common feature that I have observed from successful people, it is that they are willing to accept uncertainty. Uncertainty is a fact of life. We never really know where our next breath will take us, let alone what a switch in career, time away from work, change in relationship or living situation will bring. Successful people might not embrace the fact that uncertainty is a fact of life, but they do ACCEPT IT.

Don’t believe me? Try this little exercise out for yourself.

This is the second in a series of five posts pertaining to my initial entry “Five Tips For Making Goals That Stick.“Overview. Five Tips For Making Goals That Stick

Part 1. The “WHY” Matters More Than The “HOW”
Part 2. Make Powerful Goals
Part 3. Make Specific Goals
Part 4. Use Peer Pressure To Your Advantage
Part 5. Reference Your Goals Daily

Make Specific Goals

Ambiguity is a major source of fear in our lives. Don’t let this fear keep you from dreaming big and setting big goals. The trick, is to not only set big goals, but to get super-crisp about them. You should do whatever it takes to get clear about what it that you wish to achieve or bring into your life. You should get to the point where you can literally smell, touch, taste, see and feel it. Even better, you should be able to clearly envision yourself having already achieved the goal on a literal and emotional level.

The challenge with doing this is two-fold. First of all, you need to actually figure out what it is that you want. Secondly, you need to develop your mental and emotional “muscles” to the point where you can experience achievement at a very deep level without having actually achieved anything. This is possible for everyone, but it might take a little practice.

I was reading this post at Tim’s blog, 10 Steps to Becoming an Email Ninja. It has a bunch of great tips to help you deal with e-mail. Where I work, e-mail is by far the preferred mode of communication. It is used, overused and often abused. Even after trimming down all useless email sources, I get 100-200 work-related messages daily. This is not something I am proud of, but it is a fact I must deal with.

Throughout the past 7+ years working there, I’ve adopted a few strategies to help me deal with e-mail overload. Whether you are dealing with hundreds of e-mails daily, or just trying to manage the few weekly messages you get in a more efficient and thorough way, these tips should help.

This is the second in a series of five posts pertaining to my initial entry “Five Tips For Making Goals That Stick”:Part 1. The “WHY” Matters More Than The “HOW”
Part 2. Make Powerful Goals
Part 3.
Part 4.
Part 5.

Make Powerful Goals

A surefire way to set yourself up for failure, is to not make goals that are incredibly powerful and compelling. If you aren’t motivated about it. If it isn’t something that you would get up early and stay up late for. If it isn’t something that you would do at almost any cost….than how do you expect to put in all the effort to achieve it?

I used to set incremental goals, taking something I did moderately well and just adding to it. I would get very specific and create a plan for achieving the goal….but would quickly lose the motivation to pursue it. I wouldn’t put the goal in a broader perspective. I’d just follow what I was doing in the past and extrapolate into the future.

For example, I’d run 5 miles one day, and decide that my new goal was to run 6 miles at a stretch within the next month. A few weeks into the process, something else more interesting would catch my attention, and I’d forget about my goal altogether.

Sometimes I would achieve the goal, sometimes I wouldn’t….and when I did achieve the goals…I often said “so what!” The more I did this, the more I stopped trying to set goals to begin with. I just started to go with the flow….that’s a definite way to ensure mediocrity! Something nobody should aspire to.

Now, I make it a practice to set really powerful goals. It is OK to have some smaller goals that you know you can achieve, but is the really big things that will keep you motivated and excited. How do you figure out what these big goals should be?

Here is a process I use to come up with life goals that are really worthwhile.

Tony was on tonight’s Larry King Live….I wasn’t able to catch it, but saw this clip from last year on the same program. A great conversation. I’ll post this year’s clip when I find it.

This is the first in a series of five posts pertaining to my initial entry “Five Tips For Making Goals That Stick.“

By “Why,” I am referring to the reasons why you do something and by “How” I am referring to the means for accomplishing that thing.

Accomplishing anything requires some level of motivation. Accomplishing anything, no matter how big or small, requires some internal motivation. Compelling reasons are the driving force behind any action that we do. We eat and drink because they are necessary activities to keep us alive. We carry on some occupation because we require some finances to make our way in this world. We participate in hobbies or sports because we derive some pleasure and a feeling of significance from doing those things.

Note: there are five follow-up posts to this article….expanding on the ideas below.

Part 1. The “WHY” Matters More Than The “HOW”
Part 2. Make Powerful Goals
Parts 3, 4 and 5 are yet to be written…

It’s about that time year! Everyone is out to make some massive progress on their resolutions for 2008. I went to the gym yesterday and it was totally packed. People were decked out in brand new workout-attire, iPods (even a few Zune’s!) and shoes. Wisdom has shown that these resolution rarely stick, but why not at least give it a shot?This year, take a few steps to make sure that you don’t let your resolutions fall by the way-side.

Tony Robbins is fond of saying “if you aren’t growing, you’re dying.”

There is a lot of truth to that statement. Most people I know do not make a concerted effort to improve themselves from a personal growth standpoint. They want to get wealthy, have more muscles, less fat, a better relationship (or a relationship period) and all that….but they rarely apply themselves to improve the fundamentals of their persona. The things (behaviors, thought patterns, emotional responses, raw skills, etc.) that will actually help them achieve those wants and needs. Instead they rely on dumb luck and a feeling of entitlement that means they deserve everything and more without having to work for it.

I am a mouse on a wheel. It might be a shiny, diamond-studded wheel that spins all nice and smooth, but it is still a wheel. I’m a stimulus/response machine. I don’t see this as an inherently bad thing. It is what it is. It’s this behavior that has helped me succeed in many things. It helps to multi-task at work. It helps me to juggle multiple to-do’s at home. It helps me just put the blinders on and get things done even when those things might not be fun or overly exciting (like training hard or doing the laundry).

Part of this change has to do with my new role as a manager. I am no longer defining my success at work in terms of what I do, but in terms of what my team can do. I am having to deal with many more varied projects and problems than I have ever had to do in the past. Like it or not, since I spend so much time at or thinking about work; this work-based stimulus response behavior pervades the rest of my life. It is not good or bad, it is what it is.

However, I’m starting to see a dramatic contrast. I just returned from a whirlwind 8 day trip to China, Korea and Taiwan (for work). Talk about stimulus-response overload! Now, in the throes of holiday season, most of my team and peers are on vacation. E-mail has flowed to a trickle. I haven’t had a phone call in days. My stimuli are all gone! Oh no, what to do! It’s actually taken me a bit of time (a day or so) to make the switch from dancing monkey (stimulus response addict) to normal human being.

As a “normal human being”, I feel much more calm; but also less excited about stuff. I am able to think long term, but am actually not nearly as motivated to get a bunch of near-term (easy) stuff done. I am more looking forward to going to work in the morning (less pressure) but a little more bored when I get there.

So yes, there is a change. It’s not good or bad. It is what it is.

Think about your five closest friends. These are the people you spend the most time with, either in person or via e-mail, Facebook, MySpace and phone conversations. According to popular wisdom (and it proves to be correct in my life), these five people will define, over the long term:

• The level of your bank account and your salary
• Your overall health and fitness
• Your willingness to take risks and go on adventures
• Your career level and aspirations
• Your overall level of happiness and well-being
• Your attitude and demeanour while relating to other people
• etc.

This is a very unscientific, but highly demonstrable truth. Think about it. Your peer group defines not just who you are, but who you become. Choose your friends wisely.