Real friendship

Kathryn, a very dear friend of mine will be starting an adventure soon. First off to India for a several months, to study yoga at an ashram, and then possibly off to Spain for some language immersion. After some globetrotting, she’ll probably settle down somewhere with great weather, which means Seattle is out of the picture. While I will miss her deeply; I am grateful for the open, honest and fun moments we’ve had in the short time we’ve known each other.

In wishing her the best last night (pics) it really hit home how important friends are in your life. We rarely if ever play-full out with our friendships. Playing full-out means that you go out of your way to make sure that their needs are met. It means that you always give them the benefit of the doubt. It means that you never take action expecting to get something in return. It means that you aren’t afraid to ask the hard questions or push back when you really and truly feel that it is the right thing to do. It is about brutal honesty and uncontrollable laughter.

It’s all these things that make real friendships happen. I’ve been amazed and grateful for the outstanding friends I have in my life, but realize that most of us (me included) are guilty for not playing full-out. We can make whatever excuses we like: too busy, scared, embarrassed, it just slips out minds, we don’t have the nerve….but it doesn’t change the reality that most of us probably never (or very very rarely) feel what true friendship is. We’re too concerned about networking, getting ahead, looking good in from of others or taking care of ourselves to really invest the time and emotion in it.

Friendships are NOT negotiated with set terms in a wood-panelled board room, but we act like they are. If you only feel that you can give when you get something in return; or if friendship is only about pleasing and not about growing, challenging, being brutally honest and laughing ’till your ribs hurt….you are missing out.