Writing smart business email

by Ravi Raman on January 25, 2007

Was writing a business email this morning and noticed something strange with the way I was writing it:

…..I was speaking with the Team X and there is concern about how our charter overlaps with their’s…

The reality was, there wasn’t really concern, there were just a few questions. Some education was in order. I was inadvetandlty setting off the fire alarm when there was not even any smoke, just some dry kindling! I rewrote the mail to focus on the positive:

….I was speaking with Team X and we think there is an opportunity to scope our roles and projects so we have the most cross-team synergy…

Subtle change in wording will convey a completely different set of emotions.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 David 01.26.07 at 9:02 am

I have to say I think the first draft is better, despite your concern with the word “concern”. You could have altered it to be: “…..I was speaking with the Team X and they have a few questions about how our charter overlaps with their’s…”.

Your final “an opportunity to scope our roles and projects so we have the most cross-team synergy” is classic business-speak. David Brent would be proud of that one!

People think they have to assume a special language to communicate in a business environment when really they don’t. Keep it simple. The trouble is it’s easier to speak confusingly than it is with clarity.

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